I've heard many people saying that to me, both adults and people who are the same age as me (actually,it's time to consider even myself an adult,but you know what I meant with that): especially in the past years, a lot of friends and people in my family used to tell me that I was wasting my time, because I was (according to them) forcing myself to stay inside my house, instead of going out and having fun. The general idea was that I hadn't been able to keep all the friends that I had made during the years, because I had been too "hard" on them and for this reason I had "dropped" many of them along the way. So, according to them, that was why I wasn't having a regular teenager's life.
Even though I was saying that it wasn't true, that I was happy the way I was, secretly I agreed with them: I thought my life wasn't "normal", at least not according to the usual standards, and that there was something wrong with me. If there wasn't, why then was I so different from all the others? This idea bothered me a lot, and I lived with it in my mind for a long time: I felt different, and more important, I thought that different was wrong.
Recently though, something has changed in my mind and in me: thanks to some experiences I have had in the recent years, I was already convinced that my being different was not bad, it was just another way of "being". However, the idea that I was somehow wasting my time and that, once old, I would have regretted the things I hadn't done in the past,was still bothering me. Then some days ago, I'm not sure exactly why or how, I realised something:I'm not wasting my time as long as I'm doing what I like.
Who decided that going out every Saturday it's the rule? Who decided that you have to see your friends every day, for them to be "real friends"? Who decided that watching TV series is a waste of time? When I'll be old,I want to look back and be sure I did everything I liked while I was young.
And as far as I'm concerned, I'm doing that. I'm having fun watching TV series and writing about them, I'm having fun reading, I'm having fun travelling even by myself, I'm having fun going out with my friends and having lunch with them,I'm having fun talking on Skype to my dearest friend who lives abroad (and who I consider my best friend even though we see each other once a year), and I'm having fun picturing my future life somewhere else.
I've always lived "in the future",I have never been very interested in the present because I have always had plans:one day I'll do this,one day I'll be that. Finally this is actually true for me:I'm not simply waiting for something (anything) to happen. On the contrary,I have solid plans which are about to become true. I've clear in my mind everything that I want to do and that I have to do to reach it,so my life isn't on hold for something unclear which has still to happen. My life is just preparing itself for something amazing. So in the meantime, I'd rather prefer wasting my time doing what other people think I should do,or should I fill my time with things I like and that make it funnier and better?
I think we all agree on the answer :)
Thank you for listening and stay tuned!!
H.
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